I’ve been doing that. I am resolved to stop it. I have a long time friend who is a prolific personal blogger. Been reading her posts and I feel inspired by her practice. I should will just write here, write what I’m thinking about without requiring it being constructed, composed or perfected. Some pieces will get that treatment but I it is ok that not all of them do.
I have mood ups and downs and I clearly started this on an up and then have had some very busy middle time and some down and the blog went fallow during that. It feels like energy is rising again so I’m gonna catch this wave and write today. I’ve been doing lots of stuff and there are tons of plans. Been reflecting on that today.
At work…
I got a promotion to full Director late summer, came with a raise and some new responsibilities around budgeting and contracts. Yesterday I started getting an information download about that and it felt good to have something new to learn and do. More of that to do.
I became Service Owner instead of Component Manager for my two services and I’ve been ramping that up and am handing my Component Manager role down to Sr. team members. That feels good too.
Got my last open position rec hired (finally) and will have a full strength team starting in January.
I’m making concerted efforts to hand responsibilities down to team members and back away from some tasks that I’m good at and enjoy doing but it is time for someone else to take it on and release some of my time and energy to other parts of my job.
January I start doing 2 year tactical & strategic program planning which I’ve wanted to do for a long time and I am really excited about it.
Family & Health…
Got to see my daughter and her partner over the long T-day weekend. It was delightful. She and my son and their partners will all be here for a day in late Dec and that will be so lovely. My son will be visiting for several days. They are fabulous interesting grown up people and I like them all very much.
My Beloved Partner has officially and truly moved in with me and we are building a warm and supportive domestic life together. Adjustments are being made, space being rearranged a bit, new habits and patterns established. I am really enjoying that we both work at home full time and get to have lunch together and check in with each other during the day, and we get to start our evenings together even if we have separate plans. We’ll be looking for a new place together that has a little more room in the spring when my lease comes up. We are really good nesting partners.
Got a (just barely) diabetes diagnosis a few months ago. Did some initial monitoring and yes indeed, I have high sugar episodes. Radically changed my diet and have been really good about sticking to it. Blood test when I don’t feel good to see where I’m at so I know when I do take a wrong turn with the food. I have an endocrinologist appointment at the end of Jan (That was quite an exercise to get!) Gotta find out if I’m type 1 or 2 (or 1.5 which I guess is some of both?). Family history / genetics says 50/50 chance I am type 1. If so I’ll start monitoring because there is a slow slide into not producing my own insulin and I’ll need to add that to my life. If it’s type 2 I just stay with the diet and try to exercise more and things may get better or even reverse.
Over the summer I learned that I am a high functioning autistic. Almost impossible to get a medical diagnosis at my age, I have too many coping mechanisms, but it is clearly true and explains a lot about me and how I function and why I have struggled with some things in my life. I’m spending some cycles looking at that stuff, forgiving myself, and learning how to cope and function better. My partner has been super supportive.
Almost a year since knee surgery and I’m pretty much all done all better. New knee works great! I’m thoroughly middle-aged and out of shape in general though. So that is another thing to work on that I am singularly unenthusiastic about. Fibromyalgia pain blooms set me back every time I try to ‘exercise’. PT is done. I am still doing structural integration body work and some stuff around nerve conduction (to treat neuropathy) and some energy alignment stuff.
In general I just need more down time, rest time, introvert time than I used to, and I take it. My patterns and needs really changed after all the trauma and isolation time during COVID. Getting older has added to that and understanding how the autism plays into some social situations or soundscapes being really overwhelming for me. Turns out that stuff is complicated! An EDM Rave is great as long as I’m altered but a really loud restaurant when I sober makes me want to run and hide. Go figure. I have had to examine and recognize my own needs and hold boundaries around them and I am doing that now.
Doings and Plans…
Been out dancing and to dinners and am deepening & cultivating new friendships as well as renewing old relationships. Danced all night at a Halloween + Christmas Rave in Providence the other night and had an absolutely fabulous time. Took me two days after to recover but it was totally worth it.
Organized a kinky party event for January and holding one tonight.
Working as deputy vendor coordinator for Intercon V – got new web page info organized and built out. It’s ready to go live!
Running my Everybody Dies LARP at Intercon V 1st weekend in March. Got the player survey out. Casting to do in January.
Pre-Xmas holiday party with friends to go to soon.
Vegas trip to see friends in Dec
Lovely New Year’s party plans for both evening and next day with friends.
Parlor LARP day in January with friends – running a game, playing a couple of games.
Vegas trip to see friends / couple days vacation in Feb
Two late winter weekends out of town with friends.
Intercon in March – playing a bunch of games, player surveys and prep for that has started
Malaga Spain trip to play LARP Conscience and have a beach vacation in March
New home hunting and moving April / May
Probably going to a private intimate fire circle event in July.
Edinburgh trip back to Fringe in August
England trip to play LARP Giovanni and have some vacation in October
So yeah, plans are many, time is full and this blog hasn’t gotten much love, but at least I can reflect on and see why. All the plans are requiring energy to arrange and prep so even though the dates are in the future there is stuff to do for them now or soon.
And I spend time with my partner, lavish attention upon them, we talk and cuddle and play together and that is Good. After living alone for quite a few years I am remembering now how much time and energy it takes to invest in and maintain a relationship. It’s worth it, but trade-offs happen.
Interests….
Baldur’s Gate 3 – playing and playing and learning about it. First playthrough coop with my partner so it is a way we are spending time together. This is the FIRST video game and fan / player community I have ever gotten into and I am super enjoying it. Took awhile to acquire the controller skills but I’m getting there. Navigating the map is still an issue, and I lean on my partner for character optimization advice and battle tactics, but we are having a ton of fun playing together. And I get to nerd out about it with other friends and my kids too which is pretty great. It is soaking up all the available ergs and hours right now for sure. Decided to embrace it and that I am ok with that for now.
Blogging about Edinburgh Fringe 2023 – I have so many notes and thoughts. I did sit down and rate all the shows I saw the other day, that was a step. I think I’ll back-date the posts to the days I actually saw the shows because blogging-time-travel can be a thing.
I have a new interest in EDM music. Listening to it, going out dancing to it, and possibly learning to make it myself. My daughter’s partner is really into it so that has been fun to talk about. Lots more to learn.
Learning sign-language is still a thing! Really. Watching the latest season of “New Amsterdam” and the deaf Dr. character is wonderful. Lots of times that they are only speaking sign on screen and you have to turn on captioning to get the translation. I try to watch and interpret before I put the captions on then rewatch with the captions. Loving it.
I am going to write another LARP. I have two started, one co-author with my partner. But that almost requires ‘retreat’ time with with blocks of uninterrupted creative space so I can hyper focus. I am resolving to find and schedule some of that for myself.
Now off to work my domestic / party prep list.